that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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