it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
