everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
