Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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