What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
