So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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