She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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