i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
