now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize