There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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