my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
