Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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