Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize