dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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