I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
