Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
