Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
