so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
