i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
