OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
