You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
