Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
