i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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