Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
