i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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