just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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