Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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