What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
