i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
