butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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