She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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