take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have tasted many bathrooms
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
