no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
