Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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