Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
