Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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