You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
