I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
