well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sorry about my life...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
