I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So much rum. So many feels.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
