Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
