I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
