Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
