if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
