dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
