I am in a vortex of obligation.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You ate ashes out of my bong
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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