5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
