im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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