I have demons in me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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