ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
