She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Everyone says I win the strip club
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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